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| Not really sure what i should put here... |
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| Anything has to be better than this gibberish |
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| My God I'm Pathetic |
| Thursday, August 03, 2006 |
So I just drove 30 miles to attempt to find a boy that im not really even all that interested in at a Rodeo. Why, do you ask? Not really sure, I keep asking myself the same questions. Possibly to try and give some meaning to my otherwise pathetic life. Yes, that’s been the theme of the day, what am I doing with my life. The problem is, I have absolutely no idea what I want. Tends to make it hard to figure out what the next step should be. And of course, now that I have my mind made up about moving, I get offered a promotion at work that I have been after for a year, should I take it? That would mean a minimum of another 6 months from September when it takes effect. Is that really what I want? I have been having fun this summer, nothing not to like about rafting every week. But I know that I really don’t want to be here anymore, I just don’t know why. What if I do move and I hate it, and realize it was a stupid mistake and I should have stayed here where I have some friends and a good job and beautiful scenery? Although I do have friends there two, and a boy that I just cant stop thinking about recently. What’s that about? I haven’t seen him in months, why is he suddenly all I can think about?
Today at work, my friend claimed that I know what I want I just wont accept it. She gave me some lists to fill out, and then she analyzed them. Anyone else have any thoughts? Here is what she gave me:
What are Ten things you have done this year that have made you happy?
Hmmm…. This was a hard one, I was only able to come up with 4 and theyre not all that good.
1. Started playing hockey 2. Met Brendan – not the love of my life, but definitely fun for now 3. Lots of rafting this summer 4. Went home for a nice long visit – 10 days!
Five things from yesterday that made you happy?
Considering I fell asleep right after work yesterday (5pm) there is not much…
1. I closed the month, 2. I finally got Steven’s numbers for Golden Circle (Due 7/15) 3. I had lunch with Dana 4. I took a nice long nap 5. My kitchen sink didn’t leak
What 5 things do you dream about most in the future?
How long in the future???
1. Travel around the world. 2. Figure out what I want to do with my life.
3. Own my own portrait studio. 4. Get married - eventually5. Have kids – sometime after that….
Im not sure about the why and how. I guess how would be actually doing some photography, since I haven’t done any in a while. Part of that would be moving to a place that is more affordable so I could have an extra room to use as a studio, (photography, glass, painting…) and maybe doing some freelancing on the side. Why would be because I want to??? I want to travel to all of the places I have never been, I want to find a wonderful man and get married and have children, I want to do something that I am passionate about, rather than just good at, I don’t want to be forced to be someone I am not and not be who I am…
Ok, that’s enough ranting for one night. |
| posted by badkitty @ 9:27 PM |
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Name: badkitty
Home: Dublin, Ohio, United States
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